by Dawn Thompson
(New Castle, Indiana US)
llo Wray..wont know if im at the right site untill test results are in ( just ordered the saliva kit all 8 tests today) Three years ago I had to leave my well paying job of 9 years for an unknown illness. I went to doc and told him my symptoms and he advised extreme stress... he tested my blood for vitamin defincies and thyroid.all was good! I was prescribed an anti depressant and Zanex Oh yea and cognitve therapy. I refused the meds and went for the therapy... 20 weeks of therapy and a multi phasic personality test ruled out crazy and never was told why I felt like I was going to die every day from a heart attack, extreme panic attacks.. could not make a decision,in a deep dark cloud and suicidal thougts that I know were not my own. I have spent 2 weeks of almost every month of the last three years on the sofa or bed so agoraphobic that I could not leave the house or answer the phone. and then the minute my period started it all would lift off and I would become myself again. I can laugh and call all my friends and tell them im back and they would all say you need to get something done about this its getting worse... There have been a few times that the symptoms would not completly sbside whth the start of my period and I knew I would be in for a good one the next time around >> before the job loss one of my co workers told me I had a problem with hormones and that my cycle was disrupting the work space.. I dont know how (PUN HERE) I would not speak to anyone for fear something evil would come out. I had extreme hate and disgust for anyone around me.. Funny I talk as if in the pastence as I have started my period early this morning and all this seems like its not real. But it is! its very real and it been going on for about 15 years progressing the last 5 being the worst.. I just turned 50 last July and have no one to comepare myself too. my mom had a hysterectomy when I was a kid so all I have ever known from her was pure crazy she never took any meds... I have an extreme fear of medication. However I can take a valium 5 cut in quarters one at a time untill the anxiety that fills my body calms.. this anxiety is not the same as a panic attack. this is the uptight jittery on edge that just makes you sick. I have nausea, shortness of breath, tired all the time. 3 or for naps a day bloating out of my sweat pants boobs so sore that you cant even look at them with out them hurting. There are so many more symptoms but the worst is noted in this drawn out blurt cause there is no one else to talk to about it ... but smiling today and well enough to share. I soon as I get my results I will share with all of you ( God Bless us all on this crazy Hormone swing )
Comments for End of the Rope
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