No libido, huge road block, mental crashing, please help!
by J
(MA)
Hi Wray,
I've read virtually every word on this site and have been doing well with progesterone but recently have had some frightening set backs. I tend to research for hours a day in all my free time, but I could really use YOUR insight to my situation!
Brief history:
Female, 100 lbs, 22 years old, very clean diet and lifestyle. No estrogen dominance symptoms before or after starting P cream. I cleaned up my life and diet long before starting the cream, but my main problem/complaint has always been absolutely NO libido no matter what I try!
Took birth control (seasonique and kariva) due to terrible periods/bleeding at 16, only for 1.5 years. Realized I completely lost my sex drive, which was a HUGE part of my life and identity.
Stopped birth control due to INSANE crazy moods etc. Felt slightly better but never recovered.
When I was really young I took a corticosteroid (dermatop/prednicarbate cream) for well over ten years due to sever eczema which started at 3 years old.
Haven't used any prescription medication for many years. Nothing in my system other than progesterone cream.
I've never taken SSRIs or ANY other medications.
I've been constantly refining/cleaning my diet ever since stopping the pill to try to regain health.
Started P cream in June 2015 at only 20 mg (before I found this site) for a couple months but it wasn't helping of course and I started noticing slightly larger breasts and some dark hair on my chest. I knew something was wrong, and my moods were getting worse. One night I had a breakdown (which always spurs a giant researching spree) and found this site and immediately upped my dose to 300 mg. This was September 2015. Everything was changing immediately. I lost water weight, my skin felt tighter, I was calmer and more clear minded for the first time in so long. But I still never got my sex drive back. I had one maybe two nights falling asleep where I felt my libido coming back, vibrating all over my body as I fell asleep. I knew it was too good to be true.
I felt my best after a few weeks to two months on P cream. My constipation was SO much better and I felt so calm and happy and like everything was getting better all the time. But I was gradually cutting back my carbs at the same time because I didn't like how sugar was making me feel and Wray kept saying that sugar lowers progesterone levels. I was also developing an irrational fear of carbs. So I was Very Low Carb for two months, which eventually became NO carb, save for half a tomato in the morning. I was unaware of the dangers of such low carb intake and was beginning to feel irritable all the time. My constipation was getting worse. My moods, similar to before starting P cream.
I then found the Perfect Health Diet and realized what I was doing to my body on no carbs. So I added sweet potato, squash, some melon, etc. back in my diet. I immediately felt the benefits of glucose in my brain and my "starvation" mood symptoms got a lot better, and my constipation too since glucose lines the intestinal tract with mucous. Also my dry eyes were much better too. I started having some strange symptoms though since adding carbs back in. I would get a tight chest after eating that was worse later in the day and made me a basket case by night. My moods became more erratic. However, I was feeling a little bit sexier too and over the course of 3 days (in which I was eating chocolate for the first time in months)I felt my libido returning/rising and then something crazy happened. That night I "engaged" in thinking about sex a lot which takes any sexual energy I have, I had sex with my husband, laughed a lot that night, then one tiny thing I normally would have let go made me feel embarrassed and I SUNK into a strange state where I felt no emotion anymore. Everything went away. It felt like a neurotransmitter CRASH but I have no idea and I don't want to draw any conclusions. It's been weeks and I'm still in the dumps. I've been having TERRIBLE anxiety, chest tightness, moodiness, crying, depression, suicidal thoughts. I can't relax! Perhaps it's cortisol related, but nothing in my life has changed. I am happy and have a wonderful life and amazing husband. But there's some imbalance in my body causing all these adverse symptoms.
I should add that when I first started the P cream at 300 mg I was getting slight anxiety / chest tightness which I thought was a temporary side effect. It's also one of the reasons I wanted to stop eating sugar. But I've never had anything like it in my life. It's also the same style of tight chest / anxiety that I felt when I took my first vitamin D3 pill ever. I had never taken vitamin D in my life and I believe the tight chest was due to magnesium deficiency. However, I've been taking 5,000 IU for a long time and haven't had these symptoms again until I added carbs back into my life. But going low carb again is not an option for me and my health. I don't believe the foods I'm eating are responsible. I believe I'm in the process of correcting a lifetime Progesterone deficiency and balancing my hormones for the first time. But at this point I don't see any progress anymore. I feel stuck, terrified, hopeless, depressed, and desperate for any new information that could connect the dots for me.
Here are my current symptoms:
No libido
Daily anxiety and chest tightness
Trouble sleeping/staying asleep (I never sleep through the night)
Slight constipation
Frequent urination
Occasional dry eyes
No motivation whatsoever
Inability to do work
Always feel like I didn't get a good night's sleep
Constantly thinking/worrying about my symptoms
When someone is talking, I can't focus and the sound of their voice seems so disruptive/loud and I need it to stop.
Easily frustrated. When asked a simple question I can't even form an answer. Especially when asked if something's wrong I get so frustrated.
My mind races a million miles a minute, even though I can't get any work done.
My current diet (I eat the same exact thing every day):
Breakfast:
2 XL eggs
1-2 tbsp butter
1-2 tsp coconut oil
1 small tomato
1 oz mushrooms
5 oz carrot
1/2 banana
Lunch:
4 oz ground turkey
1 tbsp sauerkraut
1 tsp coconut oil
1 small sweet potato
Real salt
1 tbsp raw honey
Dinner:
3 oz chicken breast with gluten free flour blend (rice, tapioca, xanthan gum)
1-2 tbsp butter
1-2 tsp coconut oil
1 cup melon chunks
1 cup butternut squash chunks
Real salt
2-3 oz brandy
I'm trying to hit the ratio of 50% fat, 30% carbs, 20% protein as advocated by the Perfect Health Diet. It seems to be good fit for me and my body/metabolism.
My supplements include:
5,000 IU Vitamin D3
30 mg zinc citrate
120 mg magnesium glycinate
2-6 sprays magnesium chloride on skin
Just recently started taking 50-100mg 5-HTP to try to calm myself down/up serotonin levels. Can't tell if it's doing anything.
Just recently upped my Progesterone dose to 420mg (from 300mg) but it hasn't changed anything.
Any insight and/or time spent on my query is GREATLY APPRECIATED! Thank you so much!
Best regards,
J